On Gilmore Girls, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore’s life together seems picture perfect. They are best friends who share similar tastes in music, books, movies, and clothes. They eat junk food and never gain weight. Rory loves school, and Lorelai is the young, cool mom. Their mother-daughter bond is aspirational.
But it’s not all coffee, quips and pop-culture references. Just because these two are close doesn’t mean they don’t bump heads from time to time. When it comes to disagreements, the Gilmore girls have had some doozies. Here’s a ranking of the 10 worst arguments Lorelai and Rory ever had.
10. Rory Undermines Lorelai
When Lorelai learns her home is being consumed by termites during season 2, Rory suggests the unthinkable - ask Emily and Richard for their help.
Lorelai refuses to go to her parents and makes it clear to Rory not to involve them. Rory tells her grandparents anyway, believing her mother is being stubborn. Where Lorelai sees strings attached to anything having to do with her parents, Rory sees good intentions. Rory’s oversteps, undermining her mother’s authority and shows an uncharacteristic lack of respect. It’s one of those times when Rory’s know it all attitude is less entertaining and more annoying.
9. Rory Doesn’t Want To Attend Chilton
The line between best friends and mother-daughter blurs when Rory’s excitement about attending Chilton Preparatory School wanes after meeting new boy Dean on the series’ pilot. Dean is the first boy to actually see Rory, and this potential crush causes Rory to have second thoughts about her future.
Lorelai who is forever haunted by her own choices is deadset on making sure her daughter doesn’t repeat her mistakes. This turn of events transforms Lorelai into a benevolent dictator. This only happens when Lorelai fears Rory is following in her footsteps and squandering the same opportunities she did. Rory behaves like a brat, both dig in their heels, and this argument proves even the Gilmore girls’ atypical relationship has its challenges.
8. Jess and Rory’s Car Accident
When Jess arrives in Stars Hollow during season 2, he drives a wedge between Lorelai and Rory. Following a car accident during which Jess is driving that leaves Rory with a fractured wrist, Jess becomes persona non grata to everyone except Rory. Everyone in Rory’s life has a habit of believing she’s… perfect, and the weight of the wings and halo finally gets to her.
Rory turns her frustration on Lorelai, making it clear she’s not a “mindless idiot being led around by a guy.” She defends Jess, convinced he’s being treated unfairly. Lorelai’s poor opinion of Jess isn’t entirely off the mark, but her refusal to believe that sometimes accidents just happen pits mother against daughter in an unwinnable argument.
7. Lorelai Sleeps With Christopher
In the aftermath of Lorelai’s season 6 breakup with Luke, she sleeps with Christopher. Even Lorelai knows this nullifies any possibility of a reconciliation. Lorelai has no intention of telling Rory, but a badly-timed answering machine message exposes Lorelai’s secret.
Instead of being sympathetic to everything Lorelai’s going through, Rory makes it all about her. She’s getting along with her dad, so why would Lorelai put that at risk? Rory says some pretty nasty stuff, going so far as to slut-shame her heartbroken mother. Lorelai admits she made a mistake, but Rory’s tantrum in response to her heartbroken mother’s apology has us firmly in Lorelai’s corner.
6. Rory And Lorelai’s Roadside Run-In
Following Rory’s decision to drop out of Yale, a cold war ensues between her and Lorelai. It’s Lorelai’s idea of tough love: she freezes Rory out. This means Rory learns about her mother’s engagement from Luke. When Lorelai encounters Rory doing her community service (for stealing a yacht with Logan) the two have a brief but heated discussion.
Lorelai’s angry that Rory’s living large in her grandparent’s pool house, turning to them when Lorelai spent most of her life heading in the opposite direction. Rory’s hot and bothered Lorelai couldn’t at least tell her about the engagement. Both don’t talk to each other so much as at each other, and their interaction ends as abruptly as it begins. Nothing gets resolved, and the cycle of hurt and anger just keeps spinning.
5. Lorelai Dates Max
Following her breakup with Dean during season 1, Rory falls into a serious funk. Making matters worse is the fact that the charm of small-town life gives way to irritation when everyone assumes Dean broke her heart, but it’s the other way around, something Rory prefers to keep to herself.
Also keeping secrets is Lorelai who is rekindling her romance with Max: a tidbit of info Rory gets from him instead of her mom. It leads to a nasty confrontation between Lorelai and Rory, sending Rory running to her grandparents without giving Lorelai a heads up. Having Rory disappear without so much as a note is rough, but Emily’s smugness and interference prolong the fight. Rory’s decision to run away is selfish and irresponsible, but it’s where she chooses to go that breaks Lorelai’s heart.
4. Rory Wants To Write A Book
On Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, Rory finds herself struggling to find a full-time job as a journalist. It’s Jess who pushes her to write a book. Rory informs Lorelai the subject of this non-fiction opus is about their journey as mother and daughter, and Lorelai’s life before Rory’s birth.
Lorelai tells Rory she’s free to write about her side of their story, but Lorelai has kept certain aspects of her life private, and she doesn’t want them exposed to the world. It is presumptuous of Rory to assume it’s okay to write about Lorelai without coming to her first. Rory marginalizes Lorelai’s feelings because she’s determined that all of a sudden this is her dream, and Lorelai has no right to deter her.
3. Rory Stays Out All Night
Lorelai urges her Rory to attend her very first formal with Dean. Rory and Dean cement their status as boyfriend-girlfriend but accidentally spend their first night together. This leads to chaos at home where Emily and Lorelai have had their own sleepover.
Lorelai talks a good game to save face, but when Rory finally makes it home, Lorelai can’t seem to make up her mind if she’s upset with Rory for spending the night with Dean, or because Rory gives Emily ammunition to use against her. Rory is apologetic but also recognizes Lorelai’s reaction is being influenced by Emily, causing Rory to angrily call Lorelai out for her unfairness and hypocrisy. Rory screws up, but she refuses to suffer because of the sins of her mother.
2. Rory Loses Her Virginity
Season 4 is full of big changes for both Gilmore girls, but the biggest for Rory is reconnecting with a now-married Dean. They unexpectedly take their friendship to the next level, and Rory loses her virginity to her first love. Lorelai doesn’t catch them in the act, but she does show up soon after. Rory thinks Lorelai is going to be upset about her losing her virginity, but Lorelai’s focus isn’t on the sex, it’s her daughter’s inability to accept responsibility for inserting herself into Dean’s marriage.
Rory is like a child who just wants her toy back, even saying Dean was hers first. Lorelai can’t believe she’s raised a daughter who would sleep with another woman’s husband. Lorelai has the moral high ground on this one, and deep down, Rory knows it.
1. Rory Wants To Quit Yale
During season 5, after Mitchum Hunztberger tells Rory she doesn’t have what it takes to make it as a journalist, Rory goes off the rails. After years of overachieving and excelling at everything, Rory begins to doubt herself. She informs Lorelai she won’t be returning to Yale. Lorelai is Rory’s biggest fan, and she’s quick to dismiss Mitchum’s assessment.
Lorelai and Rory are usually always in agreement about major life choices, especially when it comes to Rory’s education. Rory’s inability to take criticism without blowing her life up is frustrating for Lorelai. Rory’s determination to drop out is an insult to Lorelai, and all the sacrifices she’s made for her daughter. Rory’s immaturity and selfishness lead to months of estrangement and marks the biggest fight the two ever have.
